Mr. Pyrotechnic, you may commence the Mascletà!!

Well, just after the holidays of the Magdalena and the Falles, the truth is I have to say that neither of them is among my favourite festive seasons. Don’t misunderstand, I like the smell of gunpowder and fritters, but I think the week of Falles is the best week to leave Valencia or Carcaixent (this is my hometown, it’s located 40km away from Valencia, but we also celebrate the Falles). No matter where it is: it is true that in Valencia this situation occurs at a larger scale, but the fact is that whatever you do, to me it's better not to live there during the festive season. It is said (and I think so) that the Falles party is for the fallers; that’s it, that only they really enjoy the party, while any other people which make a life with responsibilities (whatever they are) suffer the city as an impassable hell. The streets are cut, processions, street parades, street music blaring until odd hours of the morning, “despertàs” at 7 or 8 in the morning, very powerful firecrackers thrown from the crowd by surprise and lots of people in everywhere. I lived for 3 years in Valencia during another stage of my student life and the truth is that I always waited with dread the week that you could not get on the subway or to go through the downtown without being crushed to death.

Having said that, it only helped me to unburden myself a little, I was thinking in my spare time (yes, I didn’t die trying) and my curiosity led me to become interested in how would these parties from the Anglophone abroad point of view. Do not know why but I felt it would be quite ridiculous and funny to see this explained in English, so I searched the Internet: unfortunately I don't found an article in the Wikipedia or other similar source refers to the feasts of Magdalena but only about the Falles. That fact is a shame because I know well the meaning of the Feast of the Magdalene and I can not say the same thing as failure, for two reasons mainly:

1. They share similarities in costumes, mascletàs, noise, street parades, but that is that. The religious references are different, they have not Falles, but Gaiates (and not, you should not ask them "and when do you burn them?").
2. Very often people of Castelló complains that their Feasts are ignored by public television (other day talk about "that damn freak TV” that is Canal 9) and the rest of the people outside of Castelló itself, so to compare the Falles with Magdalena in importance and quality will make them very, very angry.

As a final thing, these are some of the funny definitions that the Wikipedia gives to the various events of Falles. Making corrections is not my cup of tea, but… I can't keep from biting my nails! I wonder to myself ... who has written this?:

• La Despertà: Each day of Falles begins at 8am with la despertà ("the wake-up call").
• La Mascletà: The Mascletà, an explosive display of the concussive effects of co-ordinated firecracker and fireworks barrages, it takes place in each neighbourhood at 2 pm every day of the festival; the main event is the municipal Mascletà in the Plaça de l'Ajuntament where the pyrotechnicians compete for the honour of providing the final Mascletà of the fiestas (on March 19th). At 2pm the clock chimes and the Fallera Major (dressed in her fallera finery) will call from the balcony of the City Hall, Senyor pirotècnic, pot començar la "mascletà"! ("Mr. Pyrotechnic, you may commence the Mascletà!"), and the Mascletà begins. There are two HUUUUGE mistakes! Neither the pyrotechnicians don’t compete for the honour of providing the final Mascletà, nor the Mascletà takes place in each neighbourhood at 2pm every day of the festival.
• La Plantà: The day of the 15th all of the falles infantils are to be finished being constructed and later that night all of the falles mayores are to be completed. If not, they face disqualification. This is not correct, they MUST be finished being constructed and ASSEMBLED in the street.
• La Cremà: On the final night of Falles, around midnight on March 19th, these falles are burnt as huge bonfires. This is known as the cremà, i.e. "the burning", and this is of course the climax of the whole event, and the reason why the constructions are called falles ("torches"). As Wikipedia says, the Latin word derivation is probably like this: fax (torch) > falla, but actually, Falla means “bonfire”, and not “torch”.

Away from the falles, there are people going crazy through the streets, with the city resembling an open-air nightclub, except that instead of music there is the occasionally deafening sound of people throwing fireworks and bangers around randomly. There are stalls selling products such as the typical fried snacks porres, xurros and bunyols, as well as roast chestnuts or various trinkets.